Focus on Your Feelings
Focus on Your Feelings ~ An EFT Technique for Everyone. Sometimes our feelings defy words. There are many reasons why ~ so this technique goes beyond words!
Finding the words to express our feelings can be hard. EFT usually asks us to name our emotions and the intensity of the feeling. Many people feel at a loss to find the words.
Far too many of us grew up without ever learning a vocabulary of emotion.
Far too many of us rely on words like ‘great’, ‘bad’, ‘fine’, or ‘OK’ to describe how we’re feeling. This is because no-one sat down with us as children and showed much interest in how we were feeling. Neither did anyone engage with us in a conversation about our emotions, nor did they nurture a sense of emotional intelligence.
This, by the way, is because they didn’t know how to do this themselves!
So, generation after generation, our emotions are ignored, repressed, over-dramatised, and dismissed out of hand. So is it any wonder that we have neither the vocabulary nor the emotional coherence to explore and communicate, both with ourselves, and with each other at an emotional level.
The result is that we either switch off emotionally, or we feel out of control emotionally, or we live with on-going emotional disturbance such as chronic anxiety, depression, and simmering frustration and anger. The result of that is poor and low level communication, emotional outbursts, arguments, polarisation and various manifestations of emotional damage and incoherence.
Learning a vocabulary of emotion really helps. I’ve worked with people who are so happy just to simply identify the feeling that they are experiencing. It helps them understand what happened to them in the past, and why they have recurring negative emotional responses in their present daily life.
Sometimes the Wheel of Emotions can help.
It's also the case that we experience feelings for which there are no words.
Or for which no words are necessary. Maybe there are no possible words. Sometimes, in our explorations of personal development, we connect with negative feelings that we experienced before we even learnt to talk.
So obviously there will be no words. But all these feelings are intense and important, and EFT helps us find ways of focusing on them, in order to clear them from our system. These are feelings that, if we hang on to them, will in some way hold us back from living fulfilling lives.
Our emotional life is rich and precious, and connecting ourselves to our inner feelings is so important to leading a full and happy life.
Many people have strong sensory experiences, and in the EFT Technique known as Focus on Your Feelings, we can identify the feeling by using other descriptive means.
If you have a negative feeling which is difficult or even impossible to describe, and you would like to clear it, try this technique ~
Focus on Your Feelings.
Ask yourself these questions:
What colour is the feeling?
Where is it located in your body?
How big is it?
What shape is it?
How long has it been there?
How heavy is the feeling?
Does the feeling have a texture?
Smooth or rough?
Is it wet or dry?
Does it move around the body?
What other attributes does it have?
You can be as inventive and creative as you choose. As you continue to ask yourself these questions, you will automatically and naturally be focusing on your feelings. And then, you can just start Tapping.
Focus on Your Feelings Tapping Round.
The Set-Up Phrase
Tap the SOH point.
Even though I have this feeling : (and then describe it using all the attributes, e.g. it’s grey, round, hard like a pebble, heavy and it’s in my lower back, OR : it’s pale, pourous, amorphous, shapeless, rough like a scouring pad … etc.
Even though I have this feeling, I love and accept myself.
Repeat three times.
Give the feeling a number on SUDS between 0-10 where the higher the number the more intense the feeling.
The Reminder Phrases
Tap though the Round of points, repeating the words ‘This feeling’.
You can interject the various attributes:
‘This Heavy Feeling in my back’,
‘This hard pebble feeling’
As you move from point to point.
Go through 2-3 rounds.
Take a deep breath, and then focus on the feeling again. Check it against it’s original intensity, and also note if any of the attributes have changed, disappeared, or possibly moved.
So, if getting in touch with you feelings is hard for you, don't worry.
Focus on your Feelings is an effective EFT technique to bypass the need to try and find the words.
This is a technique that can also work with kids. It has the scope to be fun, and interesting. When we were very young, we all had innate emotional intelligence.
Children will display all the variations of emotions in a free and flowing way. Bit by bit it gets closed down, through neglect and with an assumption that it’s not important.
Your emotional well-being is paramount, and when you feel better, you live better. And when you feel better and live better, everyone and everything around you benefits.
Thank you for reading xoxo