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Feeling Bullied? Release Resentment with EFT. Reclaim Your Power. Part 2.

Feeling Bullied? Controlled?
Release Resentment with EFT and Reclaim Your Power. Part 2.

(Also introducing the EFT Tapping Rant!)

When we've been bullied and manipulated (sometimes for years) we have both internal conflict and a lot of anger at the world. Learn how to release resentment with EFT.

Welcome to Part Two of a Three Part Series on bullying, feeling controlled, manipulated and coerced.
Exploring how to extricate yourself, heal and move forward.

Many thousands of people are dealing with the repercussions of a childhood marred by bullies and narcissists. The scars remain, and the programming received back then can often be re-activated in adult life, over and over again.  Both at home and at work. 

Freeing oneself from this can sometimes feel impossible.  Particularly if it all started very early in life.

However, there’s no such thing as impossible here.

Our responses to bullies have been learnt ~ and the beliefs remain active in our system as they try to keep us safe and out of harm’s way.

But please know, anything that has been learnt can be unlearnt.

With some patience, emotional intelligence and perseverance, we can undo the damage, release the resentment and all negative emotion. We can find healthy ways of dealing with the bullies and create personal emotional freedom.

In this post (part of the 3 part series on bullying),  I particularly want to explore the resentment and anger that builds up in us over time.

This is usually repressed in some way, because we’re unable to stand up to the people inflicting all this on us. And there are good and sound reasons why we can’t stand up to them.

So of course, we can end up feeling very angry at them, and at ourselves for ‘letting them’ do it, and also at others who could’ve / should’ve protected us … but didn’t. And all this anger has nowhere to go, so it stays with us. Festering.

Unsurprisingly, it often turns into a tangled mess of anger and resentment, hard to even begin to unravel.

Moreover, we also often choose to actively hold on to our anger and resentment for many and varied reasons. There’s a possible list below.  You may have your own reasons.

Before I go any further, I want to be clear.  There's no blame here.  No judgement.  There are very good reasons why we respond in the way we do to bullies and manipulators.  And it's not because we're weak, or foolish, or somehow incapable.  It's because we're trying to keep ourselves safe from further harm.  And that ..... is unequivocally OK .

However, it’s also worth acknowledging that holding on to all this anger can’t really be doing us much good … ?

Here’s a quote that seems to be unattributable (or attributed to many) ….

Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die ....

We have very good and seemingly coherent reasons why we hold on to the anger, and don’t want to release resentment, such as:

Otherwise the person will start again.

Because my anger protects me.

Because it makes me feel safer.

Because it’s better than crying.

Because otherwise it feels like I will give up, and I need to keep fighting.

Because I don’t want to forgive them.

Because what they did was wrong! End of!

Because I don’t want to justify what they did /what they do.

Because they deserve my anger.

Because if I let go of my anger, it means they get away with it.

But it doesn't have to be that way ...we can release resentment with EFT.
And feel freer and stronger for it ....

EFT is just fantastic for clearing anger ….. if we let it. It’s possible to use the most Basic EFT Recipe … as described here …  (if you’re not acquainted with the Basic EFT recipe, check it out and then come back).

However, if the anger isn’t clearing, you might want to try a more elliptical approach.

For example:
Start Tapping SoH and say out loud:

Even though I don’t see why I should let go of this anger/resentment ….. I love and accept myself.  And I forgive myself.

Even though I don’t want to justify what ____________ did by letting them off the hook, I love and accept myself ….. and I honour my feelings.

Even though I can’t let go of this anger because:  ___(your reason) ___ ~ (it makes me feel safe / protected/ I don’t want to  …. etc. ….. ) ~  I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Tapping Round 1

EB:  I don’t want to let go of this anger.

SoE:  I can’t let go of this anger.

UE:  I won’t let go of this anger.

UN :  This anger helps keep me safe.

Ch:  Or does it?

CB:  Even when I turn it on myself?

UA:  Which I do sometimes.

ToH:  I still don’t want to let go of this anger.

Round 2

EB:  This anger is mine.  And I’m keeping it.

SoE:  It keeps me safe……  I think.

UE:  This anger is justified.

UN: And if I release it, that will justify their actions.  I’m not allowing that.

Ch:  And yet……. deep inside I know …

CB:  This anger causes me physical and emotional stress.

UA:  Maybe I can let it go.  Maybe.

ToH:  Maybe.  When I’m ready.

Take a deep breath and then let it go. Refocus on how you feel about releasing your resentment .... What comes up? Keep Tapping. Keep trying different avenues.

Introducing the EFT/ Tapping Rant!

The EFT Tapping Rant is another EFT tool in the toolbox, that can be used in all sorts of ways.

It can be particularly useful to release resentment and anger.

Start Tapping on the side of your hand and let the words and emotions flow freely.  Don’t stop … just keep going.  Don’t worry about the ‘rightness’ of what you’re saying … simply express yourself freely.  Whatever comes up … say it out loud!

You’re allowed to shout, swear, exaggerate, let rip … and see what happens…. !  Just keep talking! And allow yourself to feel.  Honour your feelings all the way.

Sooner or later you will find yourself focusing on a particular emotional charge and the intensity of it will be apparent to you.  Focus on the emotion. Give the intensity of it a number on the SUDS scale.

Then go straight into a series of Tapping Rounds focusing on that specific emotion, beginning at the eyebrow point (EB) as normal, and finishing on a more positive note on the Top of the Head Acu-points.   ‘I choose to be free of this!!’  Follow the momentum of the rant!

As always, the goal is to feel better; by clearing out all the old negative belief patterns.

A Tapping Rant can clear a lot of stuff.... and in the midst of a chaotic rant it's often the case that a great clarity will begin to emerge for you. 

Like a shining light! Trust it.

Keep Going ....

When exploring resentment and anger in the context of being bullied and manipulated, you may find a tangled and complex web of different feelings and emotions.

For example, Ii may be possible that underneath the anger, there is very real fear.

So once you release the resentment you may come face to face with fear.  That’s not surprising.  In fact, it’s to be expected. 

When you’ve cleared the anger as far as possible, you can begin dealing with the fear by using EFT.

Just Keep Tapping.  You can take notes if you want, which sometimes helps organise the complex emotional tapestry that unfolds, and also helps monitor progress. Go at your own pace, you don’t have to rush at this.  There’s no time scale.

EFT is a practice rather than a course.  You can integrate a daily EFT practice into your life, that will keep your mind fresh, and clear and free.

EFT will continue working for you.

Follow your intuition and trust your inner being. 

The answers are within you, they just got lost and hidden by all the bad and unkind treatment you’ve received.

You can reclaim you power.  By reading this far …….. you already are.

Thank you for doing that x

This post is part 2 of a three part series about being bullied, manipulated and controlled, and the ongoing effects that this has on our well-being. And how we can explore our feelings, release resentment and fear, and find personal emotional freedom with EFT.
For more, click a link below.

Feeling Bullied and Controlled ~ Part 1
Feeling Bullied and Controlled ~ Part 3
key to your best life ~ one to one sessions
Information about One-to-One Sessions with Debs at EFT South UK
the personal peace procedure notebook a drawing of an open journal on a table with a vase of flowers
The Personal Peace Procedure - an excellent EFT tool to establish your EFT practice.
blue bird EFT icon
An interesting article about recognising coercive behaviour - one aspect of bullying.
eft starry night sky original drawing
How EFT seems to work ...

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