Feeling bullied? Controlled? Coerced? Powerless? EFT can help you negotiate your way to find Freedom and Peace.
This is Part Three of a three part series about feeling bullied and controlled, and how EFT can help resolve the negative feelings.
When starting out on a journey back to emotional health after having been bullied, manipulated, controlled and coerced, possibly for many years, it can seem that the journey is long. And hard.
In fact, to find peace and freedom can seem impossible.
Maybe it feels as though there is too much to untangle. There may be so much internal conflict, as well as the possible reality of living with ongoing everyday bullying from one place or another.
Taking steps on the path to find Freedom and Peace
I f you’ve ever woken up in the morning, and for one brief second, felt blissfully safe and cosy …. and then reality dawns …. that bad things happen …. and that bad things are happening to you …. and it feels out of your control and you’ve tried so hard and nothing has worked and you feel powerless and you don’t know what to do and you feel like giving up and yet you’re angry …. furious …. because deep down you know that you don’t deserve any of it ……….
And the possibility of ever finding peace and freedom … and the idea of ever voluntarily forgiving them for what they did and what they do …. seem so remote.
Almost Beyond Belief.
Please know, EFT has something to offer you.
If you haven’t yet looked through Part 1 and Part 2 of this 3-part series, it might be good to click on the links at the bottom of this page, before trying the meditative EFT session below..
A contemplative meditation to resolve inner conflict.
Before you begin this, make sure you’re in a quiet and comfortable space, where you won’t be interrupted. This particular Meditative Tapping Session is designed for when you feel ready to let go of the anger and contemplate the possibility of healthier ways of dealing with the issues you are facing. Wanting to find resolution comes as you prepare yourself to let go of resentment and free yourself from fear.
And by the way….there’s no time scale here. This is when YOU feel ready … no one else…
So, if you're ready to continue ....
Speak the words below out loud, (you can vary them to find what resonates with you).
At the same time, start Tapping the Side of the Hand. Then Tap on the series of Acu-Points in a continuous Round, starting at the Eyebrow point and finishing at the Top of the Head. Don’t worry about Tapping on a different point with each phrase, just keep Tapping. (Click here for the Beginners’ Guide to EFT/Tapping if you need it).
Before you start – think of the person to whom you would address this. The one who caused you (or continues to cause you now) so much pain. It doesn’t matter if the the person is in the past or the present.
Start by Tapping the Side of the Hand (SoH):
I'm sorry I'm not the person you need me to be....
And even though I’m not the person you want me to be. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though you can’t love me / like me for who I am. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
And even though I’ve tried so hard to win your love and approval, your friendship, your goodwill ….. and I have failed to do so, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And I forgive myself.
Go through as many ‘Rounds’ of Tapping as you need : starting with the eyebrow point (EB)
…and continue … speaking out loud ….
I’m sorry that I’m not the person you want me to be.
I’m sorry I can’t please you, how ever hard I try.
I’m sorry you feel you can’t love/approve of/like me the way I would’ve wanted.
I’m sorry I can’t become the person (child, partner, colleague, friend) that you wanted.
I’m truly sorry.
It’s not that I haven’t tried.
Because I really have. And I’ve failed. And, over time, I’ve tried and failed, over and over again.
So I’m giving up because I’ve finally realised it’s causing me so much unnecessary pain.
And when I really think about it, I do see that you must be in pain too. Otherwise you wouldn’t inflict so much pain on me.
But it’s your pain. Not mine. So I’m drawing the line.
I would like you to stop.
But whatever you choose, I’m stepping away. Whether you stop or not. I’m stepping into the place where you can no longer hurt me. However hard you try.
It’s up to me whether I let you go on hurting me or not. And I’ve decided not.
I’m sorry it has to be like this. I truly wish it was different. It’s taken me a long time to realise that it isn’t going to be different.
And I’ve accepted that now.
I choose to find peace and freedom.
In body mind and spirit.
I choose to find freedom and peace.
You can of course vary the wording of this contemplative meditative EFT script. Choose the words that resonate for you.
The key here is that you are deciding not only to accept yourself as you are, and them as they are, but also you are choosing to recognise that you are OK …more than OK … you are just great as you are.
You are saying enough is enough.
You are reclaiming your power.
The next step along the way, is to consider forgiving them. Not because they deserve it, but simply because you deserve to be free of it.
Your readiness and willingness to forgive may only come at the end of a very long road ... and that's OK.
But if you're ready ... or would like to try ...
Tap the Side of the Hand: (SoH):
I choose to forgive them. Not to justify what they did. Not to let them off the hook. Not to open myself up to any more of this. I choose to forgive them because I choose to be free.
And I deeply and completely love and honour and accept myself.
I choose to forgive them, because I choose to be free.
I choose to forgive them because that is the best way I know of reclaiming my power. And I’m reclaiming my power. It’s mine and I want it. And I forgive myself for giving it away. And I’m taking it back. And I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
EB: I choose to forgive them.
SoE: I choose to forgive them for what they’ve done.
UE: Because I choose to reclaim my power.
UN: Because I choose to be free.
Ch: Not because I want to justify what they’ve done.
CB: But because I choose to be free.
UA: I choose to reclaim my power.
ToH: Because it’s mine.
EB: I choose to forgive them.
SoE: And any doubts and misgivings that I have about that, I choose to release them. From every cell, and every fibre of my being.
UE: Because I choose to be free.
UN: I choose to forgive, because I choose my personal freedom.
Ch: Right here and right now.
CB: I choose peace.
UA: I choose freedom.
ToH: In body mind and spirit.